Monday, May 4, 2009

Harder, Better, Faster Stronger

I'm a little disgruntled about running out of chocolate cereal.
I'm questioning the sanity of people who read my blog, a-hem. I get sick of being with me, so that "absense makes the heart grow fonder" stuff must be true. Like today, I got sick of being with me at Jo-Ann's. I was on the card aisle buying a birthday card. I hate schmaltz, so I don't even go near the sappy ones. I found one with something written on it in french, and started to cry. Why? I don't know. But it was irritating, and it would have been nice to be someone a little more normal at that point. I won't even get into why I was making air raid noises at the computer this morning...
Sometimes I don't like things that happen, and I've decided I need to get over that, LOL. But really, I'm trying to focus on being positive which is hard because sometimes I think I've earned the right to be critical or pessimistic. And sometimes I just like it, really. But get this, " shall be done for you as you have believed..." Matthew 8:13. So if I'm critical about everything, or view it through a lens of pessimism, I'm never going to be happy. And that's not very appealing, even if it means I have to throw myself under the bus hoping. It's hard to want to hope sometimes because I know it means I'm leaving myself open to hurt, and why do that if you don't have to? I'm afraid. But Revealations 21:8 tells us "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." Ouch- so being fearful can separate me from God. I also know Romans 5:5 "Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us." So I know the real problem here is sin and my mindset, not some crazy life situation. And I'm working on that, with the Holy Spirit.
Alright, time for another air raid...


Holly Brim said...

I have a pair of sunglasses that are unusually yellow in tint. They were $10 in the fashion district in LA and are so awful they make my eyes hurt everytime I wear them for more than an hour. I keep them around because when I step outside and put them on, everything has a bit more color. I don't know if I can live with a pair of glasses with a darker hue because I want my eyes to be optimistic even if it's not realistic sometimes.

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