Posting Again!

Good news!  The hubs surprised me with a new Iphone (which was promptly encased in an Otterbox, seeing as how I recently killed a cellphone, iPod and camera) so I can take photos again.  Expect a blog this week, sooo much to catch you up on!

Death of a Camera

My camera is absolutely dead.  Not the pesky kind of dead that goes away when you replace the battery, but the kind of dead that causes the focusing mechanism to go haywire.  All of my photos are blurry!  My posts are no good without photos, you know.  Any recommendations for a new camera?  ::sigh::

It's Pinup Time Baby!

     So what's a Military Wife to do when her Marine is deployed?  Stop watching the news, for one!  It's extremely distressing to see every little thing that gets broadcast, especially since the media rarely has the details I'm interested in.  For example, what KIND of helicopter crashed?  Seahawk, Blackhawk, Apache, Cobra, Phrog, Super Stallion?  Each service has their own airframes and I can immediately tell if it's Marines if the anchor says more than "Military Helicopter."  Not that it's a relief when it's not a Marine, because my heart is breaking for whoever it was in there and their family who is hearing the news no one wants.  I've been to more funerals since I married Matthew than in the rest of my life combined.  This deployment has been more difficult in that respect, three Marines from Matt's unit have been killed in the last week alone.
     The families of these Marines are what we refer to as "Gold Star" families.  Families of those who serve in harm's way are "Blue Star", those who lose a loved one become "Gold Star" families.  It's a title of honor that no Military family wants to earn.  The Blue and Gold Star banners are specially made under a Department of Defense directive implemented by Congress.  Learn a bit more about the banners from the American Legion here.  One such Gold Star family is that of 1st Lt. Rob Seidel III.  Here's a bit about him: "Rob Seidel died in Baghdad, Iraq, from injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 22nd Infantry, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division (Light Infantry), Fort Drum, New York. Died on May 18, 2006."  Trying to make the best out of this tragedy, his family has set up the 1st Lt. Rob Seidel Wounded Soldier Fund to help those who survived combat but left with permanent scars.  Recently, I got an e-mail seeking models for a pinup style calender, with the proceeds from the calendar's sale directly benefiting this charity.  How could I say no?   All of the submissions were done through Facebook, you can find the page by following this link.  My photo is under "West  Coast Submissions", and if you "like" the charity's page, you can vote for me to be in the calendar by "like"-ing the picture.  There's also a short essay I wrote about why I want to be involved with this project, which I think is pretty darn good!  The photo I've posted here is the same one that's on the FB page for voting.  Please ignore my rear, it's REALLY unnatural for me to have this photo posted for everyone to see.  I keep reminding myself of the movie "Calendar Girls" where a Women's Club asks some of its members to pose nude, tastefully and quasi censored with flower pots and such, for a calendar to benefit their local hospital.  If some English biddies can pull this off, so can I!
Voting ends June 22, and I'm way behind in the polls.  I'd like to win for my own ego, but if I don't, at least I know that I tried to do something good. I can find other ways to support our Gold Star families. Coping normally in an abnormal situation is what Military life is all about!

Help Me Name My BOX!

     As if today's after-school-kite-flying-beach-trip wasn't enough proof, A gets out of school in two weeks.  And that means summer is nearly here!  The extended Fam invited us to vacation in Poipu, Kauai and while I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to go, I feel that it isn't good timing.  It's not really fair to take a glorious Hawaiian vacation with the kids and Matt's family while Matt's enduring 120 degree heat, insufferable bugs and COMBAT living in a cave in Afghanistan.  We went to Kona last year, this summer we'll have to be content with a family reunion in a Humboldt trailer park (with my Dad's family, lol) and season passes to the Safari Park and Zoo.  I can still enjoy the Kona Brewing Company's Lavaman Red Ale that I had at their restaurant last summer, though, and that will be enough.
Now about my box!
     My kids fight when they get bored or are under-stimulated.  This fact is obvious, but we can't go to the Zoo, beach, ball game etc. everyday or those things will become boring, too.  There are lots of places to visit locally, but I still have responsibilities at home, so I came up with "The Box."  It's a box full of some fun-but-educational materials to challenge my little ones to grow and engage their minds through creativity.  Read: art supplies, books about things we can go explore, little games, drawing and lettering workbooks and other fun things I've yet to discover.  Basically, it's a box of imagination.  I'd like to use ideas and materials from "The Box" two or three days a week.  I know that school teachers with classes of young children pick activities that develop small motor skills, large motor skills and further math and literacy.  I'm pretty sure I can do that without full on home schooling during the summer (my kids would be bored next school year, lol) and help my kids to understand the world and cultures around them. It could be a simple recipe for popsicles and a conversation about solid/liquid state matter, or  a book about fish and a trip to the aquarium.  It could be a list of things to find in a backyard scavenger hunt.  I've already got some workbook type stuff for E, but I'm still looking for just the right thing for A.   And let's face it, with Matthew and I as parents, my kids already treasure learning and reading.  A is excited about college because I told her she gets to pick out what she studies, lol. 

Please don't think I'm crazy for talking to my five year old about college.  It came up in normal conversation, I swear!

I want the box to be a fun tool to help us be intentional about what we do this summer, and stave off summer doldrums.  So here are my questions for you:

1) What should I call this box?  I want to give it a fun and catchy name so things are fresh and exciting!
2) What do you think I should be sure to include?

If this turns out well, it could become a summer tradition.  I'll keep you updated!

Skirt Frenzy!

I will try to be more faithful about posting, honest!  That being said, I have been sewin' up a storm lately.  I've got several projects in the works, several that I still need to photograph and some I'll post right now!  A went to several themed parties lately, proper attire was required and, of course, made by me!

Soooooo stinkin' cute!  Naturally, I'm biased.  Photo courtesy of the wonderful Leslie Houx of Sweet Child of Mine Photography, see more of her work here.  She also happens to be Mommy to one of Arden's BFFs!  I sewed the eyelet rhumba skirt specifically for this Valentine's themed photo shoot, and appliqued the tie onto one of E's Hanes undershirts almost as an after thought when I realized he'd outgrown everything else.  Ha.  I also made the little frayed fabric flower corsage on A's lapel, which was soooooo easy and sweet when finished.  Find directions for free here.

Wish I'd have gotten an "action" shot of A's skirt here, it's a full circle and perfect for the Irish step dancing class we went to courtesy of Claddagh Murrieta and the magnificent Erin Tobin!  It was super easy to get E to pick fabric for his St. Patty's Day shirt, green is his favorite color.  For once I didn't feel like I was subjecting him to something I made because I thought it was cute, he was truly excited to have a green shirt that he got to pick out the fabric for.  A's skirt has shamrocks and ladybugs on it, she'll be wearing it next year at St. Patrick's Day too, lol.  Erin go bragh!
Next skirt was sewn for A's friend's sixth birthday party, a rockin' fifties party in the park!  She was very specific about the skirt she wanted; "dark pink with music notes" to coordinate with the birthday girl's ensemble.

 Another of A's BFFs had her sixth birthday the next day.  It was a busy skirt week!  The theme was "Lollipop Carnival" with accordingly bright colors.  Here's the skirt I designed myself, sans pattern, for that party:

Leslie took that photo, too.  (Can you tell the difference between the pictures I took and the photos by Leslie?  I thought so, lol.)  Mr. E missed out on homemade outfits for those two parties 'cause I couldn't find the bowling shirt pattern I was sure I'd bought.  Apparently I forgot to download it.  Go figure. He was amused enough with himself that I don't think his store bought tee bothered him!

He was so desperate for the birthday girl's attention, or anyone's for that matter, that he shot himself in the eye with a water gun to try and make her laugh!  What a goof!
More to follow...

Photo From the Last Entry

 

Me, the pit, a wonky hat and nose bling.  Punish the deed, not the breed!

Don't Bully My Breed

For the last few years I've been considering getting my nose pierced.   I've always loved the way those teensy little diamonds caught the light.  It's a bit of classy face bling.  Or it can be, under the right circumstances.

Nice, right?

My Mom and I are pretty close, so even though I'm 28 I like to run things by her.  Especially if they might involve, er, "irreversible" sorts of things.  Her one comment was something like this; "As long as you realize that there's a social stigma attached to having a piercing like that.  You have to realize people are going to look at you differently."  Sadly, I know this too well.

Mostly, we're a bunch of WASPs around here.  I fit right into the stereotypes set forth by Christian Lander of Stuff White People Like (which is HILARIOUS, btw).  Hubs is in the Military, my daughter takes ballet class, I'm in the PTA and my son will probably play football.  Then two years ago E found this lonesome creature at a pet adoption:

The lady who ran the charity caring for this dog raised an eyebrow and told me that the dog was a "Lab Mix" when I asked about her.  It may not be obvious in the photo, but that dog is BRINDLED.  Ever seen a brindled lab?  HA!  If this dog, my dog now, is a mix of any kind, I'm fairly certain we can all guess what the majority of her is.  That dog's a pit bull!

Honestly if the charity volunteer hadn't said she was a lab it probably would have ended at that, and I think she knew.  I had a lot to learn.

When I take my dog, Gracie, to the park with my kids none of the other Moms want their kids to come play with my dog.  She's banned from all school property, as are all dogs like her.  Pet owners keep their animals at a distance when we go to the dog park.

I think my dog is being discriminated against!

Is she strong?  Heck yea.  Uncontrolled, aggressive, dangerous?  Not even close.  My son regularly crawls under her and lies down using Gracie as a pillow.  He also learned the names of parts of the face by poking the dog repeatedly in the eyes, nose, mouth and ears (much to my chagrin).  

Check out this little piece from my new favorite charity:

Still not convinced?  Try something from Cesar Milan. Pit Bulls went from being all American dogs and war heroes to being euthanized by the thousands.  LA County euthanizes over 120 Pit Bulls PER DAY (source Karen Delise). 

It sucks when an entire breed is classified by the behavior of its minority.  These are highly intelligent dogs; show them love and they're lovers, abuse them and they're fighters.  They learn quick.

If you're considering a dog, I'd highly recommend a pit bull!  (Which is actually not a specific breed, by the way.)  They actually score higher on human compatibility tests than Labradors (learn more here).  I could go on for a long, long time, but the long and short of it is this; pit bulls are loving dogs that deserve the chance to have a good life and a caring home.

So here I am, a pit bull owner mad about breed specific legislation and doggie discrimination.  Now, if you see me running with my pit bull down the street in all of my (soon to be) nose pierced glory, wearing lizard shoes (these) and a hat that I crocheted myself, I'd like you think twice about hiding from us just because our appearance might be atypical.  We're not scary or dangerous, and we don't even have any tattoos...

It's 12:01 a.m. 19 November, Do You Know Where Your Wife Is?

If she's with me, then we're at the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!  SQUEE!

 Too bad Sarah's Hermione-esque hairdo is mostly hidden, as is the cool part of my hat.  I crocheted it from this pattern, oh so easy and vintage to boot!  And free.  I love me some free stuff.  Here's the crocheted goods sans moi:

The scarf is a new twist on the oh-so-chic Harry Potter house scarves seen in all of the films.  The wizards in the movies, however, have uber-long scarves which go down to their knees (in some cases) after winding around their necks.  I'm 5'9.  No scarf goes down to my knees, and to make one that did I'd have to shell out a lot of $$ for yarn.  Booo.  Etsy to the rescue!  I found this scarf on Etsy:

So I modeled my house scarf after that.  My scarf is super easy!
Chain 42 with G size crochet hook and worsted weight yarn
In third loop from hook, HDC
HDC in each chain
Chain 2, turn, HDC in each HDC across (repeat)
That's it.  My instructions aren't great, but if you've ever crocheted before, I think you'll get the idea.  I put stripes in mine (Ravenclaw colors).  Every 12 rows I switched to gold, crocheted two rows, back to blue, crochet two rows, gold again for two rows than back to blue for another 12.  I ran into a problem with my buttons 'cause they didn't fit through the HDC.  I solved the problem by stitching large buttons onto the visible front part and smaller buttons onto the back.  The smaller buttons do the work, but the bigger ones look nicer.

 

See what I mean? BTW, I used the blue and bronze colors that Ravenclaw sports in the books, not the blue and silver shown on screen.  I can't bear for my things to not be screen accurate without good reason, but creativity and book authenticity work for me.

The other thing I did for the premiere was perfect a butterbeer recipe.  Yum!  I serve mine cold and haven't experimented with hot butterbeer yet, but here's my recipe.

 Madame Baur's Butterbeer

Makes 4 16 oz servings

1 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup water

6 tablespoons butter

2 teaspoons salt

1/2 teaspoon cider vinegar

1/3 cup heavy cream

Butterschnapps (optional)

Cream Soda

1. Combine the water and brown sugar in a heavy bottom sauce pan over medium heat.  You want the mixture to come to a low boil, then stir it constantly until it reaches 240 degrees on a candy thermometer. (That's soft ball for those of you who do this often!)

2.  Remove from heat, then stir in butter, salt, vinegar and cream.  Let the mixture cool to room temp (about 45 minutes).

3.  Divide the cooled caramel brown sugar mixture between 4 TALL glasses.  I used pilsner.  Now here's the part that depends on you; how much do you like schnapps, and are you giving this to children?  I add two shots to each serving.  You don't have to add the alcohol at all, or you could use a teensy bit of rum extract (add it with the butter and whatnot) for a similar flavor.  I stir the schnapps into the caramel mixture to thin it, then add 16 oz of cream soda to each glass.  This will foam a good lot.  If you choose not to use the schnapps, add a little cream soda to the caramel mixture and stir it well before adding the rest of the soda.  This will prevent you from having a thick blob on the bottom and straight cream soda on the top, get it?

You can also add a little whip cream to the glass before the soda and you'll get a nice frothy head.  I topped mine with a little extra because it looked cute, lol.

Bottoms up Potter fans!  Just don't drink too much of this stuff, or you'll end up like Winky the house elf...

1940's Leia?

This is just AWESOME, isn't it?  If you'll agree to wear this, I'll totally crochet it for you!

You can find the pattern here.

Whoa There!

Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead.  I didn't really mean to take a break from my blog, but apparently it happened anyway. (Insert frowny face.) Halloween is just around the corner, and sewing costumes for the Fam is taking precedence over inventing new recipes and any other real form of creativity blog included.  Some highlights that may, cross my fingers, add up to a blog post...

- Ethan is dressing up as Master Yoda for Halloween this year.  Coincidentally, we've had to watch EVERY piece of Star Wars media approved by the George Lucas Canon, and E walks around humming the Imperial March. 
That's the "Darth Vader Song" for those of you who don't have the soundtrack titles committed to memory.
Yesterday my in-laws bought him a new spiffy red "Sith" lightsaber.  This morning I became Darth Ethan's apprentice ("Always two, there are. No more, no less. A master, and an apprentice.") and had my hand cut off by said lightsaber.  I am now, DARTH MOM.  The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.

-  Arden is now in kindergarten, which means I get to help out!  Her teacher is, I think, a saint.  I've been helping out for three weeks and she's dealt with a sick child throwing up, a little girl wetting her pants while standing outside the bathroom door and Friday's project, dissecting OWL PELLETS.  Arden's contained a gopher skeleton.  That would have been cool, except for the smell.  It was reminiscent of musk and roadkill with a slight shade of BLEH.
And the other inedible animal parts mixed in with the bones.  HAIR.
Next week, the little bones the kindergartners glued down to make their "project" come home.  The joke's on Darth Mom.

-  I thought I was killing off my garden, rather slowly, but it turns out the plants were just waiting for it to not be 113 degrees outside.  Two of my berry plants have reproduced themselves subterranean-ly.  WTH?

I keep imagining that soon the boysenberries and raspberries will be tunneling under the house and breaking up the foundation.  Someday I'll have real berry vines as my kitchen decor!  It'll be sure to make the local home tour that way.

- I've also figured out how to change the hose over from one drip line to the other without a mass spray-down episode.  I do this kinky thing with the hose, no wait, I put a kink IN the hose to stop the water.  Yea!  Now I don't have to walk back and forth to the spigot every time I need to switch the hose to a new line.  This is a big deal folks, we've got no irrigation back there.  Too bad it's taken me a full year to figure this all out.

As side note, I'd like to point out that mascara melts.  This may seem obvious, but it came as quite a shock to me when I opened the oven door and my eyes melted shut. 

Summer Projects!

I love love love Summer time!  Aside from banishing my seasonal-lack-of-sun blues, summer makes me giddy with all of its possibilities.  Granted, I'm a stay at home Mom, so technically I could do whatever, whenever, but something about summer motivates me!  Combine that with a sale on Butterick patterns at Jo-Ann, and here's what I came away with today:

I have to admit I'm a little excited about trying my hand at millinery and creating a hat or two!  The fabric in the background will be used to make the dress with sleeves on pattern B5209 (lower left side).  Here's a close-up of that:

It's charmeuse.  I just like the way that sounds when you say it.  Try it!  I'm currently working on another retro Butterick pattern:

Cute, huh?  It's taken quite a lot of time.  Not because of difficulty, but because of A's first dance recital!  I sewed bits and bobs for a few classes, and designed and sewed A's Strawberry Shortcake costume.

I added silvers stars to her cowboy costume (as well as those of her classmates) and designed and constructed their tap shoe spats:

I ended up making satin flapper spats for another tap number, and frilly ruffs for a "Phantom of the Opera"-esque ballet costume.  Fun fun fun!  All of the kids had a blast and felt beautiful and talented, that's what's important!

Now to get sewing!

We've Been Inked! or, Arch Enemy Part II

So here's my laundry room today:

Tada!  I know it's not perfect, but at least the laundry that's left in there is all folded or hung.  That's good enough, I say.  I even put a door hanger on the cabinet to hang dry small things like tote bags and lunch boxes.  I thought that was pretty creative.

Now on to the inked segment.  You may have noticed a few, errrrr, "some" days have passed since I promised that I'd clean that mess up.  It's not that it has taken me a week to get the laundry cleaned up, not exactly anyway.  The day after my last blog entry the laundry room was lookin' good!  But then it happened.  E got into Matt's office as Matt was getting ready for work, and he found a bottle of ink.  Matt uses it to refill his fabu fountain pen.

I do actually love fountain pens.

After the lid was unscrewed, the ink managed to find its way into the keyboard of Matt's LAPTOP, then into all of the electronics therein.  Matt had just left when I happened upon a black handed toddler in the hall and discovered the catastrophe.  The carpet under Matt's desk also suffered a grievous blow.  I did the best I could, but we also sacrificed a good number of towels in the effort, which is how the laundry room cleaning and post was waylaid.  The towels are a lurid violet color now, thanks to some clorox.  There was a valiant effort to save the Acer, but it unfortunately succumbed to the ink.  ::sigh::

At least my laundry and laundry room are clean!  (Note my bag of Charlie's soap on the counter in the laundry room.)

Meet my Arch Enemy

It's laundry.  This is my laundry room right now, and it's scarey to my kids.  (Monsters live in unfolded laundry, you know.)

I'm trusting you to hold me accountable to folding this disaster!  I enjoy a good challenge, but it seems like the laundry is always presenting me with something new.  I cloth diapered the kids and learned a LOT about laundry, detergents, washers, line drying etc. before A&E were both potty trained.  And yet, the hardest thing to clean wasn't the dipes, but my husband's work clothes.  It's still that way.  Matt comes home from the field and I get this:

and this:

It's been living in the field for a week without a bath (the cammies and my hubs), and it's DIRTY.  And smells like a gym locker.  The dirt is easy enough to get out, but our wonderfully hard water makes it very challenging to get all of the SMELL out.  Bleach and anything harsh is verboten, as well as anything with optical brighteners.  Optical brighteners are nasty little additives that most laundry detergents have and they do just what their name indicates; make clothes look brighter.  That means build up on your clothes over time, and doesn't fly to well on tactical clothing.  It also means garments that get stinky retain their odor, yippy skippy.  My answer: Charlie's Soap.

     Charlie's soap is free from all the bad stuff; harsh chemicals, optical brighteners and is environmentally friendly.  It's better for babies than Dreft and biodegradable to boot.  One tablespoon of Charlie's and two tablespoons of water softner get the stink and dirt out of everything.  The nasty build up from commercial detergents washes out and Charlie's rinses clean.  Good stuff.

     So I may have a pile of laundry, but it's CLEAN.  No scary monsters lurking here!  I'll post another pic of my laundry room tomorrow, lol.

::sigh::

Eggs... It's What's for Dinner!

"Breakfast for dinner"  doesn't always fly in my house.  The kiddos don't mind it so much, but after a long day in the field or a forced 12 mile hike, the hubster's not always up for pancakes.  So what's a girl to do for a quick meal?  Not that there aren't thousands of tasty recipes for quick meals, but I invented my own this afternoon and I think it came out pretty well.  Let me know if I'm horribly off base!

Okay, it's needs a name still.

Recipe:
16 oz Acini de pepe pasta
a smidgen of butter
2 eggs, plus one for each serving
Grated Parmesan cheese
1 pint grape tomatoes


Cook the pasta in salted water according to package directions.  Return to cooking pot after draining, stir in butter until it's melted.  I used about 2 tablespoons of butter, but you can use more or less to taste.  Break the eggs into a separate bowl, beat them slightly, then add to pasta while stirring.  You want to egg to coat the pasta as the egg cooks to avoid large curds of egg in the tiny pasta.  Cook the remaining eggs over easy.  Portion out the pasta into individual bowls.  Top each with Parmesan cheese, one egg and as many halved grape tomatoes as you'd like and serve with your favorite light white wine.  Yumm-o.

You could adapt this easily and change the dish completely;  try adding steamed asparagus or a different type of cheese.  Toss in some crumbled bacon for a pasta carbonara feel.  Especially good if you have access to home grown tomatoes (like me).  Bon appetit!

Doughnuts and Tents; or, My Weekend

When I was about 10 years old, my Grandmother made doughnuts with my little sister for a school project.  Hot, with a crispy outside and cakey inside, they were AMAZING.  Every once in a while, I try to recreate that experience, that recipe, but I'm usually unsucessful.  Enter Saturday morning.

We are (still) out of maple syrup, so pancakes were out of the question for breakfast, as were waffles. The same sister who made doughnuts with Gram has my aebleskiver pan, so those were a no go as well.  (I say that like I have more than one sis, lol.)  Decided to try the doughnuts again, and at least E was excited about it.  (See photo!)

    

     I used my newly aquired candy thermometer to get to oil to the right temp, which took FOR-EV-ER.  That must've been the problem with my previous attempts; without the thermometer I had no way of know that the oil wasn't up to temp.

The final result was fantastic!  Just the right consistency.  You should go buy a candy thermometer, right now!  Or ask for one for your birthday, which is how I got mine.  Thanks Gram!

Here's a tip: pitch your tent before you go on a trip, just so you know how to set it up and have all of the pieces.  Tip#2: don't do it in your living room.

We're preparing to go on our first camping trip and have a new tent, it seemed like a good idea to try and set it up.  Inside.

Haha.  Even with all of the furniture moved around, the tent was still a bit tweaked.  But hey, all the pieces were put together!  A & E got a kick out of playing in the tent with their new sleeping bags.  Makes me wonder if they'll actually sleep in them.  Guess we'll find out soon!

Sexy Dancing or Pushy Parents?

Have you seen this video recently?



GOOD GRIEF.  The dancers in that video are seven and eight year olds from a dance troupe out of Orange County, CA.  I started to cry as I watched the video for the first time; how could this have happened?  It's easy - now that the video has gone viral and been on several news shows- to point the finger of blame at the coach and parents.  Obviously they shoulder the blame for allowing this to come to fruition, but society is the real culprit.  Multiple organizations failed to prevent this performance.

The parents of some of these girls were intereviewed on Good Morning America on May 14th and asked to respond to comments about the suggestive dance moves and costumes.  A comment from World of Dance spokesman Larry Peters pretty much sums up what they had to say "there was NOTHING provocative about what they were doing."  It's clear that both the parents and the organization who sponsored the dance event, World of Dance, see this as nothing out of the ordinary.  I would have to assume the the coach/choreographer feels the same way as the parents, and the administrating organization who runs the dance troupe.  I have to assume that the dance costumer who designs and manufactures lingerie-like costumes in seven year old sizes has no problem with any of this either.  It would be nice if this issue was isolated and we could blame the parents, then move on.  I believe the reason people are so riled up is because this is an epidemic, not an isolated incident.

In the last year we've seen multiple headlines centering on "outrageous" actions of young celebrities; everything from Vanessa Hudgen's nude cell phone pictures and Miley Cyrus' racy photo shoot to Lindsay Lohan's descent into further debauchery through drugs, partying and promiscuousness.  But I have to ask, is it really that radical if it happens so often?  Skimpy dresses and unbecoming conduct that caused Marilyn Monroe to be called "vulgar" by Joan Crawford are common media fodder for teen girl celebs now.  Dancing styles once limited to MTV music videos and pop stars are now being emmulated by grade school aged girls.  It's not just dance troupes either, check this out:


Our culture promotes the sexualization of girls, and it's reaching progressivley younger audiences.  There's a show on TLC called "Toddlers and Tiaras" about beauty pageants for kids.  Like JonBenet Ramsey, these girls are made up, perfectly coiffed and paraded around by their parents.  Is it any shock that girls have gone the road of Abigail Breslin's character in "Little Miss Sunshine" who danced a burlesque number as her talent for a pageant?  Parents have defended this by saying the grils are just doing as they're told and have no understanding of the moves some consider provocative.  So that makes it alright?  Who benefits when these young girls dress suggestively, act suggestively and dance suggestively?  Certainly not the girls who are being taught and shown that without exploiting their looks and "femininity" they won't succeed at anything!

So who's to blame here?  Everyone.  And without a dramatic cultural shift, seven year old being taught sexy dance moves is only going to be the beginning.  Let's re-examine ourselves, stop teaching our youth to misuse their bodies and model good behavior for them.  If one of those parents had watched their daughter practising "Single Ladies" and said "Not MY daughter!", how might things have turned out differently?  We'll never know until we try.

What did you want to be?

The preponderance of social networking sites has allowed me to reconnect with people I didn't think I'd ever hear from again, people I haven't seen in a REALLY long time. The question is always the same when you first accept the "Friend" request; what have you been up to? what the heck am I supposed to say to that? "Me, oh, I don't work and have a hard time leaving my jammies behind in the morning." LOL. Try feeling confident saying that to your friend who just passed the bar or got multiple offers from publishers on his new book. Or that you can make a mean lemon tarte. Yargh. So I think about the person I was last time we were together, usually young, naive and slightly egocentric. And quirky. I figure if they got along alright with me then, they'll probably like me now too, despite my apparent lack of progress into meaningful adulthood. I can usually one up them on buying a house though!
I found a MA program at UCSD in fiction writing I'm thinking of applying for. I don't think I'll put this blog on the application when I submit it (next year) since the writing here is unedited and generally atrocious. I want to post more often and see if I can work some of that nonsense out. Being a writer is the most challenging thing I can imagine, maybe that's why I'm drawn to it. We shall see.

Fraidy Cat

It's hard to explain to someone else what it's like to be a Marine wife, to be me. Some of my friends have said things like, "I don't know how you do it." To be honest, I don't do it well. There's the nice things that other people see; the Mom of two moving into a new place while her hubby is deployed, the "Welcome Home" banners hanging outside and, occasionally the tears of loneliness and frustration. I don't have the words to accurately articulate most of what I do or feel.
Right now all I can describe is the anxiety, but that's not really the feeling. Anxiety is just one of the symptoms. Maybe even a little dread thrown in. Do I want my husband home? OF COURSE. But I'm really not looking forward to all of the transitions involved when he does get here. I've been doing this, whatever "this" is, without him for the last seven plus months. What if he doesn't like it or wants to change things? Or, what if he doesn't appreciate how hard I've worked in his absence? I did work hard, and I'm proud of it. I want him to be proud of me and my accomplishments the same way I'm proud of Matt and his accomplishments.
I don't want the fighting that comes with reintegrating a piece of you that was ripped off and gone for a while. I wish they had anti-rejection meds for returning Marines and their families the same way they do for patients who receive a transplant. What if I regress in every way that I've grown? What if I go back to the critical mind and negativity? I don't want to, but I'm still close to it because I haven't been without it for that long. I feel completely different about the reunion this deployment than I did last time around. My guess, I'll probably feel different the third time it comes around as well.
For now, I've just got to let it ride. Despite my own insecurities and feelings of isolation, I know that what I'm going through is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation unique to the military and is experienced by military spouses left behind everywhere. I even feel a little resentful at times knowing that I'll have to give things up and change. AGAIN. Totally worth it in the end, but still not something I look forward to.
I gave it some good thinking the other day. I thought about marrying Matt and what my expectations were then. I thought about other guys I'd dated, and different paths my life could have taken if Uncle Sam wasn't so prominent in my life. I'd never give up my relationship with Matt, even if he was gone, gulp, seven months of EVERY year. It's just the price I pay to be married to a man of greatness. You'd do what I do too, feel what I feel now, if your husband was in the Military.
Restless. That's the main thing. I'm looking forward to when it's over and we can just be us again. I'm confident that whatever changes are coming, God will guide us through them and my feelings of disorganization and hesitancy to relinquish my routines will evaporate. It's extraordinarily hard for me to feel calm without having a plan for this reunion, but having a plan requires expectations, and those are generally bad. Because it's not my hopes that get dashed, it's my expectations. We must always have hope. Always.
Did I mention that I never edit my blog postings? Might explain why they're as chaotic as my current emotional state.

The One Where I Stop Looking and Start Leaping

My dear friend Ashton wrote a smallish bio write -up next to my Senior picture in my last yearbook. Some of what he wrote came straight from the fact sheet each senior had had to fill out, but Ashton knew me well enough to write things that weren't what I thought about myself as well. So here's my write up:
"The spiritually gifted woman, Mara England, has given much of her time to serve the Lord. She has gone on many Missions trips and hosts Bible studies in her home once a week. Not only has she been involved in Church activities but also school activities such as mock trial, drama, yarbook and volleyball stat girl. When not serving others, Mara can be found hanging, cooking or reading books, particularly children's books. Mara plans to attend UCR in the fall and become a children's book author. [insert trite quote from me] And who better than someone with a passion for literature as well as the future authors of America than the ever bookish Mara-darling."
I don't know what I want to write anymore. The thought of failure overwhelms me and keeps me from even writing entries in this blog. And hardly anyone has the URL or even knows of its existence! I did that on purpose.
So now here's the thing, I really want to be a writer. I want to have things published and do good. I sincerely doubt I'll be writing a NYT bestseller, but I'm going to give whatever's in me a shot to come out and be developed, knowing that I'll skin my knees repeatedly along the way. I'm taking an online class for writers and as I have assignments completed, I'll be posting. BTW, in case I write something good, do us both a favor and don't plagerize. LOL, in my dreams, I know.

Writing and Other Forms of Torture

The truth is this: I don't actually like blogging. That explains why there are so few posts here, huh? The problem with blogging is that it's writing, and I'm afraid of writing. Small things I can do; editing newsletters, letters to Matt, witty quips posted as my status on facebook. But everytime I write something, I wondering if it's as good as I think it might be. I'm wondering, "Is there really any potential here or should I just stop?". Here's another truth, I really want to be a good writer, and that's why I'm scared of writing. Because if I find out I'm not any good, where will I be? A dream I've held since my childhood lies in shambles. So far I haven't really "tried" because I'm afraid of rejection. I know from researching getting published that it usually takes awhile before any publisher will put something into print, and I think if I actually spent the time and eneergy to write something, I'd be devistated with the first letter even knowing that bestsellers have been passed up before. Before I became self-concious about all of this stuff, I used to write like crazy. But I wrote for me, and didn't care that no one would ever read it. It would mostly have been embarassing anyway. And occassionally I still write for myself, like here, but I'm not content with only that. I guess even if I suck at it, I could always invest in writing and improve. I just really don't want to suck, and I want the fairytale where I'm just naturally good at something and everyone recognizes it. :sigh: Perhaps I should start with improving my grammar and spelling, eh?